Thursday, March 19, 2015
The Apple Watch
Technology forums and geeks across the globe were abuzz a few weeks ago when Apple released new details about its latest product—the Apple Watch, scheduled for release on April 24. The watch, like other smartwatches that have come before it, pairs with your smartphone to keep you connected. It’s a music player, a fitness tracker, a virtual wallet, a remote for other smart household devices, a sketchpad, a calendar, a deliverer of messages and emails; and, on top of that, it tells time within 50 milliseconds. It is definitely not a pizza; if you find yourself stranded on a desert island or stuck in traffic because of a disabled construction vehicle and starving, you will find the stainless steel or 18-karat gold tough to bite through. It’s also not so much a watch as a smaller, square smartphone strapped to your wrist.
Image courtesy of redmondpie.com
Apple advertises the watch as a way to “start a whole new
kind of conversation.” It pairs with other Apple Watches so that you can sketch
pictures transmitted directly to your friends’ wrists, tap gentle pattern’s to
get their attention, and record and send your heartbeat, all to let the special
people in your lives know you’re thinking about them. “With Apple Watch,” the
Apple site reads, “every exchange is
less about reading words on a screen and more about making a genuine
connection.” But aren’t the connections that people make with one another
face-to-face, at happy hour or cooking dinner or shrieking and swimming as
quickly as possible away from a jellyfish that has been floating three feet
from your legs while snorkeling in the Florida Keys (What, everyone doesn’t
want to experience that terrifying encounter with their friends? It’s a real
bonding moment), the most enjoyable and the most memorable?
We as a society are only now starting to realize how
technology affects social interactions and feeds the human urge to feel
validation and less alone. Recent
studies have shown that when asked to unplug from computers, cell phones,
and social media for a day, volunteers started experiencing symptoms akin to
drug withdrawal—cravings, anxiety attacks, depression, and irritability. One
college student described the cravings as similar to “itching like a crackhead”
(crack cocaine—not healthy, but also not a pizza). The pervasive use of
technology has spurred a social movement to disconnect from our devices. The National Day of Unplugging
recently celebrated its sixth year, and the Internet abounds with lists like “5
Reasons to Disconnect” and “8 Reasons to Unplug and Enjoy Life.” There are consultations you can
undergo with professionals to evaluate your level of overuse or addictive
behaviors and rehabs for
technology addition.
It is neither realistic
nor beneficial to shun technology entirely in the current era. The sheer
amount of information available via the Internet (including but not limited to vital
facts about things which aren’t pizza), the ease with which ideas can be
disseminated, the ability to stay in touch with people that live across deserts
and oceans and that busy interstate you don’t have time to navigate today
because you had to stay late at work—these advantages have facilitated and
advanced meaningful connections and collaborations beyond restrictions of time,
space, and social status. But when pictures of cats and animated smiley faces
and videos of us jamming out to our favorite songs (I know that’s not just me)
start replacing, rather than enhancing, our in-person interactions—that, I
believe, is a damn shame.
Thursday, March 5, 2015
Friday, February 20, 2015
Filthy Shades of Grey
As covered in our first post, we East Coast folks have an intrinsic love of that round, bread-y, cheesy, tomato-y goodness known as pizza. But pizza love is worldwide. Even if those poor folks in India are stuck with nothing better than the ketchup-and-whitebread-tasting disappointment that is Pizza Hut, they fucking love it. Because it's universal, people. Kids from 1 to 92 enjoy themselves a slice of the good stuff. It's comfort. It's nourishment. It's happiness. It's innocence. THAT'S pizza.
But in this world, there are a number of things that are NOT pizza. So for today's post, I present you with Fifty Shades of Grey.
Copyright 2015 Universal Studios
Now I'm all for guilty pleasures, and I'll admit that I've read the books, but they've become a world-wide PHENOMENON, and that's just all levels of disturbing. Twilight was stupid (fun fact, Fifty was originally created as Twilight fan fiction), but at least it was PG and relatively harmless. This is hardcore, messed up, explict to the nth degree, bullshit. The fact that it got a movie deal was sad. The fact that it broke boxoffice records for an R-rated move release, sadder.
Just like mayo-sauced pizza, this is something that you try once and then look back upon with a little self-loathing.
Fifty (Filthy) Shades. Not a pizza.
Thursday, February 12, 2015
Blasphemy.
Welcome to notapizza.blogspot.com! This is not a food blog, this won't even be an aesthetically pleasing blog (because let's be honest, I don't know how to blog). This is, however, a forum for all things that are Not A Pizza.
*Full disclosure, this is stuff that is of my opinion and not meant to be derogatory or hurtful in any way*
East Coast people tend to get up in arms about things like who makes the best bagel, where the best diner is (shout out to everyone from New Jersey!), and that black really is the new black. Unless you're Piper Chapman, but more on that later. But, and this should be no surprise, pizza is also a fairly hot topic of is opinion. History of Pizza in the United States can be found here.
We'll debut our first post for Not A Pizza with the item that started this particular think-piece (also read: dope story). Whether you're from Chicago, New York, New Haven, or Boston, we can all agree that the different varieties have something in common--sauce. This doesn't necessarily mean tomato sauce and can include white pizza sauce, barbeque sauce, buffalo sauce, and the list goes on. However, I draw the line at mayonnaise. These are NOT pizzas--although, nice try, Japan.
The only thing here that resembles pizza is it's shape, and maybe the concept of toppings. Alas, Not A Pizza.
**This will also probably be the longest post that is made on this blog.**
*Full disclosure, this is stuff that is of my opinion and not meant to be derogatory or hurtful in any way*
East Coast people tend to get up in arms about things like who makes the best bagel, where the best diner is (shout out to everyone from New Jersey!), and that black really is the new black. Unless you're Piper Chapman, but more on that later. But, and this should be no surprise, pizza is also a fairly hot topic of is opinion. History of Pizza in the United States can be found here.
We'll debut our first post for Not A Pizza with the item that started this particular think-piece (also read: dope story). Whether you're from Chicago, New York, New Haven, or Boston, we can all agree that the different varieties have something in common--sauce. This doesn't necessarily mean tomato sauce and can include white pizza sauce, barbeque sauce, buffalo sauce, and the list goes on. However, I draw the line at mayonnaise. These are NOT pizzas--although, nice try, Japan.
The only thing here that resembles pizza is it's shape, and maybe the concept of toppings. Alas, Not A Pizza.
**This will also probably be the longest post that is made on this blog.**
Subscribe to:
Comments (Atom)