Filthy Shades of Grey

As covered in our first post, we East Coast folks have an intrinsic love of that round, bread-y, cheesy, tomato-y goodness known as pizza. But pizza love is worldwide. Even if those poor folks in India are stuck with nothing better than the ketchup-and-whitebread-tasting disappointment that is Pizza Hut, they fucking love it. Because it's universal, people. Kids from 1 to 92 enjoy themselves a slice of the good stuff. It's comfort. It's nourishment. It's happiness. It's innocence. THAT'S pizza.

But in this world, there are a number of things that are NOT pizza. So for today's post, I present you with Fifty Shades of Grey. 

Copyright 2015 Universal Studios

Now I'm all for guilty pleasures, and I'll admit that I've read the books, but they've become a world-wide PHENOMENON, and that's just all levels of disturbing. Twilight was stupid (fun fact, Fifty was originally created as Twilight fan fiction), but at least it was PG and relatively harmless. This is hardcore, messed up, explict to the nth degree, bullshit. The fact that it got a movie deal was sad. The fact that it broke boxoffice records for an R-rated move release, sadder. 

Just like mayo-sauced pizza, this is something that you try once and then look back upon with a little self-loathing. 

Fifty (Filthy) Shades. Not a pizza. 

Blasphemy.

Welcome to notapizza.blogspot.com! This is not a food blog, this won't even be an aesthetically pleasing blog (because let's be honest, I don't know how to blog). This is, however, a forum for all things that are Not A Pizza. 


*Full disclosure, this is stuff that is of my opinion and not meant to be derogatory or hurtful in any way*


East Coast people tend to get up in arms about things like who makes the best bagel, where the best diner is (shout out to everyone from New Jersey!), and that black really is the new black. Unless you're Piper Chapman, but more on that later. But, and this should be no surprise, pizza is also a fairly hot topic of is opinion. History of Pizza in the United States can be found here.


We'll debut our first post for Not A Pizza with the item that started this particular think-piece (also read: dope story). Whether you're from Chicago, New York, New Haven, or Boston, we can all agree that the different varieties have something in common--sauce. This doesn't necessarily mean tomato sauce and can include white pizza sauce, barbeque sauce, buffalo sauce, and the list goes on. However, I draw the line at mayonnaise. These are NOT pizzas--although, nice try, Japan.


The only thing here that resembles pizza is it's shape, and maybe the concept of toppings. Alas, Not A Pizza.





**This will also probably be the longest post that is made on this blog.**